Trying to turn over a new leaf

So after months of self-loathing and misery, I managed to scrape a bit of energy together and direct it at something other than... well, all the thoughts that haunt me. For the past week or so, I've been holding on to it for dear life and forced myself to pick up a pen whenever I had a spare moment.

I hope to continue this.

I have a lot of art (both payments and older prizes) that are half-finished, abruptly put to a hold by my soul crashing into the ocean, but now where I'm able to pick it up again, I'm slowly getting through them all. I would like to direct a very deep felt apology for taking so long and thank you for your amazing patience, to everyone I owe art.
Have you ever apologized so many times (or said anything else) that eventually it just felt hollow every time you said it. That's how I feel about apologizing these days. I know we all have our problems and compared to others, mine probably aren't all that bad, but they feel heavy none the less. Yet whenever I had to express how sorry I was for failing people once again, I felt more and more like "sorry" just didn't cut it. It sounded arrogant and like I couldn't care less. I really hope no-one ever actually thought so.

But anyway.. I don't much like repeating myself and I feel like I do that a lot when updating journals, so I'll end it here. I think from now on I'll keep my journals more art based and spare you all my whining.

I know a lot of you haven't been feeling too good either as of late, but I hope you are all doing okay and hanging in there. I don't think I'm watching anyone I don't consider good people and I wish each and everyone of you the best. You are all amazing individuals and deserve happiness andnowImmastopthisbeforeitgetstoocheezy XD

<3